Fear. What They Don’t Tell You About Having a Baby.

You know what the parenting and pregnancy books don’t tell you about…

Fear.

They don’t tell you that one of the largest components of parenting is fear. I guess that might put a damper on the drunken blissful “you’re gonna have a baby” mood, probably wouldn’t sell as many copies, so they selectively omit this.

Let me be the first to tell you then, parenting is a giant ball of love, trust, anxiety, joy, nostalgia, frustration, and happiness wrapped in fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the what if’s, fear of what’s next, fear of can I do this, fear of am I doing this right, fear. Continue reading “Fear. What They Don’t Tell You About Having a Baby.”

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Preterm labor at 19 weeks, a humbling reality check

Well, I never expected to be in this boat again yet found myself landed in Labor & Delivery last night with quite the scare. This had happened with baby 1 but not until 32 weeks. I was admitted through the ER with the same hum-drum questions, sign here, initial here. I sat waiting for the nurse to wheel me up to the second floor when I realized that they never made me sign for the baby. When I was in pre-term labor with baby 1 I was given authorization forms for the baby in case he was born, this time there was no paperwork. I’m only 19 weeks pregnant and haven’t reached the age of viability yet. So if baby was born there would be no chance of survival, no need to authorize care… When this dawned on me my heart sank. Continue reading “Preterm labor at 19 weeks, a humbling reality check”