The first trip without baby, oh my momma heart

So we’re getting ready to head to Moab for the annual Jeep Safari, a 4 wheel extravaganza that we’ve enjoyed for 6 years running now! With our trip comes the dreaded reality that we must leave our little dude behind.

This will be the first time we’ve left the boy out of our care with anyone and mama is not having an easy time with it. It’s not that I think he isn’t safe without us, he is going to be in great hands, but I am really torn up inside over it. I’m sure every first time mom goes through the same thing when they must abandon the babe, ever so briefly, and be kidless for any amount of time. I mean it just seems unnatural to be taking off without him.  Continue reading “The first trip without baby, oh my momma heart”

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The Hourglass of Time- Babies don’t keep

This is a really tough post to get through, as I read the following letter to my son it gave me a lot to ponder

Dear HL,
You are officially 3 months old today… wow… 3 months that brings a smile to my face. We made it buddy, you and me and daddy, we did it. We’ve all been learning this thing together and so far no major injuries so a round of applause for the 3 of us!

Right now you’re dozing off to dreamland next to me on the couch. We’re watching Martha Stewart make superbowl recipes with an audience of all men, the Man Show. I’m looking at all of these men and thinking about how you will be one of them one day. One day too soon I’m sure… What kind of a man will you grow up to be sweet boy… lord knows you have the most amazing role model father to lead the way. Will you be a tough guy? Shy and reserved? A football player or a theater major? What will your dreams and aspirations be HL… what plan will you have for your life…

I can’t wait to be a spectator for your life bubba, I can’t wait to watch you achieve all of your goals and learn about the wonders this world has to offer. I am so proud to be your mother. I am so thankful for everything that you have taught me so far and for the vast amount of lessons that you will continue to teach me throughout life. I cherish these times that I have you all to myself, just you and me, on the couch, snuggling together while you’ll still let me. I love you son, with all of my heart and soul. Happy quarter of a year big boy!

Continue reading “The Hourglass of Time- Babies don’t keep”

The Life of a Work at Home Mom

I had a chance to guest blog for a fellow mom on the life of a work at home mom and my first thought was how totally jealous I am that she has not only one but two precious little babes. I have always had a fascination with multiples, have always dreamed of having a set, or dare I say, two sets ::choke:: I think it would be pure bliss. And I’m sure as she reads this she will laugh hysterically and kindly tell me careful what you wish for! And I get it, I totally get it, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the love drunk idea of twins or triplets but there is this whole thing called REALITY!

Well here I am to offer that same concept and insight into the life of a WAHM. Sounds great right? Sounds like the best of both worlds, you get to continue to make money, have adult interaction, AND stay home with your beautiful bundle. You’re right, it IS great! End of post.

Ok not really… in all seriousness it is the classic double edged sword. I have blogged a little bit in the past of my duality as mom and business owner and it seems with how busy I’ve been lately that this is a natural topic of discussion. Continue reading “The Life of a Work at Home Mom”

To My Firstborn Son- How you got here, A Love Story

Dearest little one,

I want to tell you a story. You were a figment of your mom’s imagination about 6 years ago. I had just left a 4 year relationship, I was living the single life, and boy was it a wild life. Doing things that you are never allowed to do and will surely be grounded for if I ever catch you! My heart was broken, I had no idea what I wanted in life, I was just living by the seat of my pants and doing anything I could to distract myself from the rejection I had allowed myself to experience for the past four years. I was at a fork in the road but I had no idea how much life was going to change.  Continue reading “To My Firstborn Son- How you got here, A Love Story”

Postpartum Depression and Anxiety- that couldn’t be me

It seems faux pas to discuss let alone admit to the possibility of having a perinatal mood disorder, most commonly postpartum depression. Let me be the first to proclaim it SHOULDN’T be. Many many many of us out there have been through it to varying degree.

70-80% of women experience SOME form of negative feelings following birth, and 1 in 7 women develops postpartum depression. You are not crazy or a horrible mom for feeling this way.

PPD and perinatal mood disorders can also affect new FATHERS. It is also the most under-diagnosed OB complication. Do NOT suffer in silence, there is help for you. A great resource for information is here.

My own bout with PPD & PPA

The Thanksgiving holiday was supposed to be a time of joy and getting together with family, everyone excited to have a new addition to celebrate with. What it turned into was a complete living hell that was upon me before I could even form the words to describe what I was going through. Continue reading “Postpartum Depression and Anxiety- that couldn’t be me”

They Don’t Call it Labor for Nothing

We headed into the hospital at 7:00 pm to start the induction. First we were settled into our room which I must say was like a luxury hotel suite, it was HUGE! Talk about plush, there was a pull out sofa for dad to sleep on, zero gravity recliners for other visitors, a flat screen tv with games, educational videos and movies on demand, the free room service menu including things like jumbo sea scallops, lamb top sirloin, and pork medallions, I mean even the bathroom was plush complete with hair dryer, and decorative curtain valance for the tub! After taking pictures of all of the “amenities” we got ready for a night of interventions. I was checked and the games began with me at a fingertip dilated and 60% effaced. I was given Prostin, similar to Cervidil, every 4 hours to help ripen the cervix and then we waited until the morning to see what the game plan would be. Continue reading “They Don’t Call it Labor for Nothing”

WGU- Single Term Completion Tips

I am frequently asked how I was able to complete the WGU so quickly and whether I have any advice for upcoming students. I can tell you exactly what I did to study and finish however keep in mind that this is what worked for me during my enrollment. You may study differently, your courses may be different, etc. Continue reading “WGU- Single Term Completion Tips”

WGU- A Tale of the BSN and MSN Journey

So what have I been up to since the dreaded CPNE which led to the dreaded NCLEX waitfest which led to the Colorado RN licensing extravaganza….??

Oh you know just keeping on with the glutton for punishment theme. I have migrated myself to WGU, Western Governors University to pursue my goals of getting my BSN and MSN. Continue reading “WGU- A Tale of the BSN and MSN Journey”

CPNE Day 3- The Light at the end of a very long tunnel

Wake up call at 5:30 startled me! I had slept really good that night thankfully. Off to the hospital for my last shot…. I was SO ready to be done with this experience, I put on my name tag and watch and looked in the mirror thinking alright this is it, this one’s for all the dice…. keep your shit together, get in and get out, it’s time to finally move on with LIFE. ::::::Game time HOORAH:::::: This sounds completely ridiculous but it is literally how you feel, this experience is purely outta control, there’s no other way to explain it. You’ve spent all of this time engrossed in this nursing program, you’ve fought long and hard to get through those theory exams, you survived the disaster known as the FCCA somehow, you’ve made it to your CPNE weekend and soldiered through labs and have one final task before you with the keys to your degree and future just dangling in front of you… Continue reading “CPNE Day 3- The Light at the end of a very long tunnel”