To My Firstborn Son- How you got here, A Love Story

Dearest little one,

I want to tell you a story. You were a figment of your mom’s imagination about 6 years ago. I had just left a 4 year relationship, I was living the single life, and boy was it a wild life. Doing things that you are never allowed to do and will surely be grounded for if I ever catch you! My heart was broken, I had no idea what I wanted in life, I was just living by the seat of my pants and doing anything I could to distract myself from the rejection I had allowed myself to experience for the past four years. I was at a fork in the road but I had no idea how much life was going to change. 

By chance my best friend and I decided to reunite with some high school buddies for night of cocktails and hanging out until the sun came up (again something you are never allowed to do). We showed up on the doorstep of a house and went in to see some old familiar faces and some not so familiar faces. A great night that was. I met your Daddy, it was his house, and the little devil took to hitting on me pretty quickly. Don’t listen to him deny this, I can tell you it’s true. He was so handsome and we immediately hit it off.

Shortly after this night this handsome boy and I started dating and I’m going to tell you about our first kiss, not to gross you out, but so that you can see how smitten your poor Daddy was. It really is a cute and funny story.

You have to keep in mind that your father was quite the Mr. Casanova, he had a new lady friend every other night, he could have any girl he wanted (and trust me your momma will beat your butt if you ever behave this way!!) One night I had gone over to watch a movie with him and his roommates, we sat there next to each other the whole night both too shy to even hold hands. You’d think we were kindergarteners on a playdate. When the time came for me to leave and my ride had arrived I kind of stalled waiting for Mr. Handsome to make the first move and see me out the door. I stalled a little more pacing around the kitchen and finally when it was clear that he was NOT going to make a move I said “Ok well see ya later” and walked out the front door. I couldn’t believe the man wouldn’t kiss me, what was the matter with him?!

Well apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought he was being ridiculous because unbeknownst to me his roommates gave him quite the earful when I walked out that front door about what a giant wuss he was. I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall for that one, but instead I’m walking down the front steps and I hear the door fly open and he yells “WAIT!!” I turned around and he grabbed me and kissed me…. it was kind of romantic, until my bestfriend who had come to pick me up started yelling WOO HOO from the car window! See your Daddy was so smitten he couldn’t bring himself to pull out his Mr. Casanova moves on me. So cute.

Well the rest is history as they say little one. I fell hard and fast for your Daddy. He swept me off of my feet and before I knew it I was head over heels in love him. Those big blue eyes had captivated me. This wild girl had found someone to tame her, my crazy life was now a thing of the past. I had moved to Colorado Springs for nursing school, had my own apartment but found myself commuting back to Denver every other day to see my love. Pretty soon we decided we would move in together so I packed my apartment up just 6 months after signing the lease and moved back. I transferred schools, it was a turning point in my life. I had never been happier, I was happy with myself, I felt loved, I had goals, I finally knew what I wanted out of life.

We embarked on some amazing years of great times with each other. Started the business and watched it continue to grow, found ourselves some puppies to add to our home (they love you a lot too!), took some awesome vacations, and we found new ways to fall in love with each other again every day.

Ultimately, I found your Daddy down on one knee in Vail professing his love to me and asking me to spend the rest of my life with him. I couldn’t believe that I had arrived at this place in my life…. wow…. the man of my dreams was on his knees in front of me asking me to be his partner for life. I had never experienced this kind of happiness in my life until that night.

Our wedding day was so magical, we wed under the aspens and pine trees next to a rushing river, the most amazing outdoor cathedral. I’ll never forget the look in your father’s eyes when I rounded the corner on my Dad’s arm. With our closest friends and family we told the world of our love for each other and promised to make each day with one another better than the one before…. and we’re doing a pretty good job with that one.

After the wedding we started thinking about having someone like you around the house, there would be nothing better than a little baby for us to give our love to. So we had some time being just the two of us, newlyweds, and ultimately decided to start a family. Well little did we know that we would have to wait patiently for you. Month after month we were unsuccessful. There were many tears, many breakdowns, and feelings of despair in the 9 months that we waited for you. When I finally saw those 2 lines on the pregnancy test I found myself thinking again ‘I can’t believe I have arrived at this place in life’ wow I’m going to be someone’s mom! I found the best way to tell your Dad of our upcoming arrival, I had to make it special and he was just as happy as I was to find out. He held me so tightly as we cried from excitement about our future to come.

9 short months later I was laying in a hospital bed pouring all of my God given strength into getting you out into this world to meet you. Your poor Dad was a wreck, worried to death about the both of us, it was incredibly rough on both you and I, but my motivation to meet my wonderful son got me through it. I smiled as I looked across the room at Daddy staring in amazement at you in the bassinette as they cleaned you off. Our journey of anticipation was over and here you were!

Remember that doorstep I arrived on 6 years ago? That is the same doorstep that your Dad and I would share our first kiss, the same doorstep that I would walk across after returning from our honeymoon, the same doorstep that we would carry our beautiful baby boy across after returning home from the hospital.

I would’ve never guessed that the fork in the road those years ago would’ve led me to this. It’s funny how you really don’t know what life has in store for you, you can do all the planning you want and guess what, it means nothing, life is going to happen the way it’s supposed to, so you might as well just sit back and enjoy it.

Now I wake up to another set of beautiful blue eyes and smiles and coos and I can’t believe this is where I am in life.

That’s how you came to be dear son. You are more loved than you can ever know and you know what, your Daddy and I love each other just as much which is equally as important. We are both here for you no matter what and we are both striving our hardest to be the best parents you could have. We were given such a precious gift and we intend to make sure we are deserving of your wonderful presence. I hope that one day when you look back at your life that you are proud to call us your parents and that you feel that we did a good job. I vow to give you everything in life that is humanly possible and to love you unconditionally for as long as I live.

All my love,

Mommy

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